This is gonna be long so I hope I don't bore you with my blabber! Anyways, Hey! I just gave birth! And it's been a while.. again! I already posted this on my dayre but I figured I also post my experience here. I have no readers there. lol. So yeah.. here's the story~ It was friday.. I woke up by 7:40am something I think? Then I felt like I had a dysmenorrhea kind of pain but it was tolerable so I just ignored it. I figured it was braxton hicks 'coz I never thought I'd give birth early 'coz my OB kept telling me I won't be giving birth anytime soon. So yeah, after that I went straight to the bathroom and peed. Then I saw pink discharge with my pee!

I remember I had a lot of white discharge since thursday so I thought I'm about to give birth! So I went and searched baby center for answers but it didn't say 'if you saw pink discharge you're on labor etc.' so I just ignored it until I'm feeling pain around my lower back every 5mins. the pain was still tolerable so I didn't mind but decided to call the hospital then they told us to come so they can have me checked.

I remember while we're on our way to the hospital my husband was laughing at me while I'm in pain. He said he doesn't believe I'm going to give birth and he didn't imagine it'll be like this. He figured it'll be just like in the movies where the woman was screaming at her husband saying, 'Omg! Fuck! Am gonna give birth!' But it was never like that and I was just sitting calmly in the car and when the pain comes I could calmly tolerate it. Anyway, they had me checked and the doctor told me I'm 1cm open so they confined me already.

I immediately told my friends and family I'm being confined so almost all of 'em posted, 'Goodluck giving birth!' msgs on my wall which made my other friends who had babies give advice and tell me that I'm still not giving birth and it'll probably take days 'just like what happened to them' (Omg I hate that word.. 'just like me..', 'like what happened to me..' Pshh) Anyway, my hubs needs to get ready for work so he left the hospital by 1pm. I couldn't sleep so I just facebooked all day! Lol.

Plus they were checking my tummy from time to time so I couldn't sleep with me hearing *doki doki* from the machine. I also thought they're going to send me home by tomorrow because the nurse said I won't be giving birth anytime soon. Plus the pain kinda went away.. Instead of coming every 5mins. like in the morning, it went down to 10mins. but, by 10pm something.. The pain became stronger and stronger and from 10 mins. It went to 7-5mins. so as much as I wanted to sleep 'coz I was so tired and it was already 1am something.. I just couldn't sleep because of the pain. The nurse suggested I call my husband to keep me company and then they had me in the delivery room so I wouldn't disturb my roommates' sleep 'coz of me crying.. My husband came and then the pain became much stronger I told my husband to walk with me 'coz I felt like I could tolerate the pain more with me standing.. but that means I couldn't sleep which made me so irritable. I was literally shouting at all the nurses 'coz of the pain. Thinking about it now I was so embarassed with myself! Haha! From 1cm I opened up to 3cm by 1:30am something. Maybe because of the walking but after that I remember not walking anymore 'coz by 2-3am something I think I went by 5cm at that time and purposely broke my own water. The nurse kinda got mad at me 'coz she said it's not good for the baby and then she gave me medicine so my baby won't get infected or something 'coz nothing will protect him now after I broke my water.

I know you're bored but please keep on reading lol. As much as I want to keep up with breathing from the nose and go 'hoooooo..' all the time.. I CAN'T 'coz I just can't control not having to push and say 'Omfg it hurts! The fuck!!!' Literally I said those! I even told the nurse who was also busy with another woman giving birth to not leave my side tho my husband is with me 'coz I just couldn't handle the excruciating pain omg how can I describe it?! Like torture? Like my hips are being pulled off? Lol. Anyway, I just remember cursing for hours and telling everyone I'm in pain that I need medication! I need something to make the pain go away! Do a C section on me instead so I won't be able to feel anything 'coz I feel like dying! I also remember constantly calling all the nurses to have me checked how open I was.. I felt relieved when they told me I'm already 10cm open but I felt like crying at the same time..

'Coz it's EXTREMELY PAINFUL to push a baby out! The nurse advised me that if I want to push the baby out.. Making a sound won't work 'coz it'll just take more of my energy so I literally pushed my baby without a sound! Like omg! It's the hardest push I've ever done! The feels was like letting out a giant poo! But no poo came out of my butt luckily! Lol. By the time I was pushing I remember I almost felt like collapsing..

'Coz I felt like I drained all the energy and power I have but because I really want to see him I pushed and pushed until finally, he came out! I literally saw the doc cut me so they could let his body out but the cut couldn't compare to the pain I felt when I was in labor. It was literally the only pain that was ever painful. Haruki, my baby going out of my vajayjay wasn't. It feels like I just let out a huge lump of menstruation lol.

Anyways, I was so happy I even high touched the nurse! All the pain and me feeling like collapsing went away! It's like all my energy instantly came back especially when I get to hold him and hear him cry! I was so happy when I saw him especially when all of 'em are saying that he looked just like me! I couldn't explain my happiness! My husband also! He is so happy he's now a dad! Kinda dissapointed tho 'coz Haruki didn't get anything from him except maybe his genitals lol.

He got everything from me! Big eyes, big nose and big lips! Lol. I never thought giving birth was a struggle I felt like apologizing over and over to my mom for becoming such a pain when I now know that she went thru the same struggle when she was giving birth to me. And to all parents. I never thought I'd say this but our parents deserves all the love and respect because they went through a lot for us.

As for me, I worked my butt off letting my baby out so I'm sure I'm going to give him all the love and care he deserves! I also think I'm gonna be a super protective mom but what can I do?? Anything for my baby! Hehe.. Anyway, here's Haruki or Haru! He's born on January 18 on exactly 9:36am weighing 3,184grams.

I'm Haru! And I'm Erika's baby!

皆よろしくね！