E R I K A: July 2011

Friend or foe?!

co-workers Tuesday, July 26, 2011

This is a '~~nightmare~~' week! ~~WORST~~ ~~WEEK~~ ~~EVER~~! I WANNA DIE! That's 'coz I had an argument with a friend/ex-friend/I thought she was my friend though Kuwa chan! I blogged about her on this post and that's her! I can't believe she's so sensitive like, urghh! She irritates me! But I am more mad at myself! I can't even remember what I said on that day that made her mad! I can rant all I want but if I haven't told you guys the story, you wouldn't understand! So yep, *ehem* here's what happened.

STORY:
Alright so, last monday, as usual at work! Morning and noon was going pretty swell.. UNTIL, the AFTERNOON! Okay so, me and Kuwa chan were both working together, then I saw my ex crush talked to some girl I don't even wanna mention and then, I told Kuwa chan to look, look at them talking like there's no tomorrow! Alright, that's it! I give up! I don't like him anymore! And then she was all quiet then, I kept calling her name like 98798768768586658x and still no reply! So I figured I should just stop calling her and wait for her to talk to me instead.. but my crush transferred me to a different section after that, preventing me to see her anymore until 4pm, where we all get to go home.

Okay, so she still hasn't talked to me! And then, here comes the part where she blew me off just like that! So, at the bus, I sat beside the seat where she usually sits but then, all of a sudden she says I don't wanna talk to you and just change seats! LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK GIRL?! And she didn't even told me what's wrong like, what kind of a friend?! *sigh* I mean, if you have a friend and he/she did something to you that offended you or hurt your feelings.. atleast you could've told him/her what's wrong personally when your friend is asking you what's the matter, right?!

And yeah so all alone and shit, I got home and texted her what's wrong and if I did something wrong please tell me and I'm really sorry and excuse me.. here's her reply to that, she said that sometimes I say things that might meant as a joke for me but ends up hurting someone's feelings, that I don't think about what I want to say first and that I just say what's on my mind and that sometimes, the jokes I make up are not jokes for her.. and then she says that 'do you remember when you said my eyes were too small? I was always thinkng about that'. I admit that I was wrong and I apologized through text but I didn't get any reply from her.

The next day, I apologized to her personally but she still won't accept and is still mad at me.. I mean, I don't get her! I thought she was my friend?! Friends don't always say nice things about each other.. sometimes they point out flaws too! And make fun of it! If what I've said might have offended her.. atleast she could've told me but she didn't! Instead, she just completely ignored me! I admit I was wrong and I WAS REALLY REALLY WRONG AND I KNOW I'M A BAD FRIEND! But, there's nothing to be this mad about just because of an asian joke! I really don't understand how she could be so sensitive right now, it's not like the first time I told her that her eyes are small! Atleast I've told her about it about 3 times already but we just laughed about it! I mean, it's not like I'm always the one who jokes about her.. she says mean things to me too (like I'm dumb and stupid and all that other shit) but I don't consider them mean and personal at all 'coz she's my friend and aren't friends supposed to do that? I mean, real or true friends are not the one's who would give nice compliments about their friends like every single day! Sometimes, you joke about your flaws and make fun of 'em! I mean, isn't that what it's supposed to be?! Or am I just used to being friends with filipinas? 'Coz my friends back home from the Philippines and even here are not that sensitive at all.

*sigh* Urghh.. this bothers me a lot! I wonder what will happen tomorrow? Today was her yasumi so I didn't get to see her.. which is great 'coz I don't have someone to avoid throughout the day.. but I really want to get this fixed. I wanna be friends with her again, or if she doesn't want to anymore.. atleast just a co-worker.