E R I K A

Haven't heard from my love for weeks! Dang!
I miss him so badly.. I had a chat with his cousin, Aron, just now.. and he said he went off to buy slippers?! Whoah?! 8:27p.m. at the Philippines and he still not home? No good!!! anyway, I told him that if ever he gets home, tell him I'm online and he said yes.. then offlined.

Okay so.. I got the fuku that I wanted from the magazine.. I tried it on and it looks cute on me.. I didn't get the whole body picture 'coz my mom's cooking.. I don't want to disturb her..





kawaii ne~

Hahaha!!! I hope I get to chat with my love today.
I MISS YOU!

Yippee! I'm 17!!! (I just got seventeen this september 22) And huraaah.. does that I mean I can decide for myself? choose what I want? be a little more MATURE? As a matter of fact YES! But why are you guys treating me this way?! I'm old enough to decide for myself.. to choose what I want, to decide when or not to love.. to choose where will I be happy and not doing things that'll ONLY make you happy.. atleast be conciderate, I HAVE FEELINGS TOO. You scarin' me off will never do. GET IT?!

Whew! Well, that worked.. atleast I feel better now. Hmm.. by the way, I MISSED BLOGGING! I didn't blog for the last two weeks 'coz I'm banned using the internet at my dad's place.. I'm now here at my mom's and thanks to her I can mail my friends back at the Philippines. My dad's a douche.. he won't let me use the internet because of my boyfriend back at the Philippines! I mean, c'mon we can't even see each other?! And oh.. the thing I said about changing for the better?? It's not for the better! I felt so heartbroken not getting to talk to him and even my friends! Good thing I can internet on my mom's place, I read his messages on friendster and facebook and it was so sweet. He loves me so much, so why would I wanna break up with him and I still love him? I can't fool myself? So what if I'm still young? I'm old enough to choose who I wanna be with for the rest of my life and I'm sure he'll give me a bright future someday.. YEAH! I SAID IT! I'm only hoping nobody from my family reads this.. we're still in a secret relationship because them finding out will be trouble again.

THOUGHT IT'S OVER?!

Well, I still have somethin' to say.. as my birthday gift from mom. She called to order a red comet brand of clothing that I saw from ranzuki magazine and it's gonna come tomorrow! Yipee! It looks like this.



Well, I still want contacts so I hope mom will agree, her buying me contacts that I saw from ranzuki magazine.. my mom's lazy when it comes to shopping so it's a good thing I bought this ranzuki magazine.. I can order clothes, beauty products, contacts and etc. from the magazine! COOL!

Okay, so last night me and my dad had an ARGUEMENT and when I capitalized and bolded the word, that means something!

Yeah.. we had a long serious talk and I finally came out of my senses to CHANGE.

I decided to really focus on my self. Cut talking with my friends on the internet, forget about the past relationship that almost ruined my life.. and instead of thinking about the Philippines, I've decided to think of ways to enjoy myself here in Japan. I'm lucky enough to be here and to be given a chance to live here. Make my dreams come true.. travel everywhere! Reach for it!

Yeah.. I really don't get what I've said but you get the point!

“Then I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over.” - Aeris/Aerith

My dad's mad at me, my aunt's furious (She won't let me go to her house anymore, and she don't want me having a birthday party there too.), and I really don't know what to do.. I don't have someone to talk to.. and my only option is to lie and deny. But the truth is.. I really don't want to, but I have no choice at all..

Here's the story:

I woke up by a call from dad telling me not to use the internet and I was kinda disturbed because of his unkind tone of voice.. and so, I went back to sleep again then suddenly my stepmom handed me her cellphone again and it's from my aunt.. she said she's mad because I'm a liar, I told everyone I'm not with my boyfriend anymore but the truth is I still am. She knew about this because my aunt from the Philippines talked to one of my friends asking if we still have communication and my friend said yes then my aunt asked if me and my boyfriend are still together and my friend said yes also and adding some other details and stuff.. It kinda pissed me off but I don't blame him/her for not lying.. all I can blame now is myself for not being honest. And yeah.. I denied about everything because I don't want them to know we're still together 'coz they'll eventually tell me to break up with him which is impossible 'coz we never break up.. and I really don't like it when people force me to do stuff especially if I don't want to.. I'm starting to think I have no privacy at all and they kept following everything I'm doing which is NOT cool.

I know my family is only concerned.. they want me to go for the better. And I really don't blame them for hating him because I loved him so much that I forgot everything that is important in my life. I should only be blaming myself and not others 'coz everything is my fault. I've realized so much that I want them to stop and think that I'm already grown up and I can handle everything. I don't want my dad to think of me as a 10 year old. I don't want my aunt to push me into some decisions that I don't like. I want to go things my way.. 'coz it's my life.. And I don't control theirs. They're only right is to be more understanding and give only suggestions. Am I right?

Okay so.. the only way that my aunt can forgive me is to fix the relationship between my mom and dad which I wrecked big time! And yeah.. because of the drinking/drunk people thing. Hmm..

I only wish that they could somehow understand me.. and give me privacy. I know this blog isn't privacy but they don't know about this (^-^)v plus.. blog is the only one I can talk to right now.

I have no choice but to lie. But I hope I make this lie good, with no holes at all! Just smooth.. (--.)

When you’re in a foreign country and you see someone of the same race as you.. What do you do? Ignore them? Greet them? Or simply talk to them in Japanese even though you’re talking to him/her in tagalog?! Isn’t that kind of rude and really frustrating?! Well, that’s what happened to me on my nihonggo class.. So, last Monday I really don’t wanna go to class ‘coz I think it was kinda’ BORING but I attended anyways so I could get a basic kanji learning thing.. And so I biked my way to class, got there and told my sensei I was at Adachiku for 3 weeks that’s why I didn’t get to attend for a very long time.. Sashiburi! yeah.. yeah.. Then, I met this cool sensei Shizue, she’s really easy to talk to and I like her! *FASTFORWARD* And so the classes are about to end.. And it some Rashi guy’s birthday! He gave out chocolates and I told him Omedetto! & nice to meet you! ~ He seem really nice and we shook hands.. And did I tell you there was a cute guy in black? Which I think is Korean? Hehehe.. He’s cute but his face is dirty ‘coz he didn’t shave! Haha! But anyway, I decided to wear cute clothes from now on if I’m gonna attend class and not some barabara clothes! Haha! Okay, so moving on with the main subject.. Class is over so it’s time the new students introduce themselves and there are two Filipinas! I was so happy and excited! I quickly thought that those two could be my friends! I think the other was the same age as me and the other one seems 13-ish or 14-ish so I told my sensei I’ll introduce myself later or next week since I’m kinda shy but my sensei said c’mon I’ll come with you.. So my sensei told the girls my name’s Erika chan and I told them “Hajimemashite! Filipino kayo!” (Duh?! Obviously I was nervous that’s why I talked that way..) So the 13-ish/14-ish girl didn’t reply so I asked “Ano pangalan mo?” (What’s your name?) And she said “Watashi wa namae wa HER NAME” (I think it was Cyntia? Or Shinja? I forgot!) and my mind was like I talked to you in tagalog?! Why can’t you just reply in tagalog?! And then I told her “Magkasama kayo?” (*while pointing at the other Filipina* Yeah.. I mess up when I’m nervous.. I know there together but I still asked! What a dummy!) And the 13-ish/14-ish girl was like “Firipin jin” (*while pointing at her companion*) Then I smiled at the other Filipina girl.. She smiled back and that is all.. I left, It seems to me that they couldn’t understand me anyway even though I’m talking to them in a language that they could understand, I mean.. would it hurt to talk tagalog here in Japan? And I was so frustrated because when those girls were introducing themselves they can’t even talk japanese and now, that I’m talking to them in tagalog they are acting like japanese experts or something! I HATE people like that! I told my aunt about this and she said that.. may this be a lesson for me to never approach Filipino/nas first and let them be the first to approach.

I hope other Filipinos and Filipinas in Japan are not like those two that I have encountered. It’s frustrating!

Now I am proud to say that I am not pure Filipina.. ‘Coz those Filipina girls I’ve met looked really Filipino/na~ish. I HATE THEIR ATTITUDE!

First, I'm going to talk about how I'm addicted to BUZZER BEAT and I really wanna watch the episode 8 with subs.. But no matter how hard I search through the net.. I can't find the ep. 8 with subs. I've already watched it and I'm actually now at ep. 9 showing this saturday here in Japan.. But since I can't understand all that japanese.. I wanna watch it here in the net with SUBS so baddd!!! I was so happy when Naoki ♥ Riko lip locked! And Naoki never done that to his ex (Natsuki "The Insane Bitch") before so it's so cool! Okay.. So moving on..

5-6 hours of not so good sleep.. Because I was thinking of a wishlist this september! If you don't know yet.. September is my birthday month that's why I made a wishlist here in my mind m( >v< )v Okay so here it goes..

_x°♥My September Wishlist♥°_x

[♥] Lavshuca Make-Ups
(It's only a drugstore make-up but I fell in love with it's cuteness and I often see it in japanese magazines that's why I want one!)
[♥] Fall Clothes
[♥] Ketai (yeah.. I still have no cellphone 'coz my parents are being practical.. I mean what do I need a cellphone for if I don't have "friends" yet.. right?! But, now since I'm almost 5 months here.. I want one!)
[♥] Contact Lense ~angel color "purple" or nudy "green" color~
(Yes! I want contact lense! Even though I have difficulties in putting it on my eye ('coz I really have teary eyes).. I still want one!)
[♥] Disney land or Sanrio Pureland trip
[♥] An Arubaito (part time job) I really want one so that I won't have to ask for money from my parents everytime I want something.. 'Coz living here in Japan is expensive!

Well that is all..

It's finally September! And you know what that means?? YESS!!! It's Fall! My second favorite~est season after winter! It's gonna be so breezy and windy this season, plus this season's fashion is sooo COOL too! I'm so happy that I am now almost 5 months here in Japan and living here was so so great! Except that I have to study japanese which is also cool but I tend to forget and freeze everytime I speak japanese and so that's why I am hopeless! But, I'll get use to it especially now that I don't internet often, I might get myself busy into studying rather than slacking on the internet for hours!

Speaking of studying japanese and stuff.. I finally got the Tomodachi Collection sofuto for my DS!!! Yay! And the game is sooo cool! I could play it for hours and it's my new substitution for internet.. PLUS! I could definitely learn japanese there rather than the internet and it's more like Sims which is DUH?! THE COOLEST GAME ever invented by that maxim guy! Whew! I'm getting so excited just by talking about it.. moving on to my other favorite..

I have a new favorite show titled ブザー・ビート [Buzzer・Beat] It's a japanese show but I could understand a few of what they're saying.. And I'm gonna search the show on the internet which of course it'll have a subtitle! In that way, I don't have to ask and ask about my dad, "What did she/he said?!" If I don't get it, and I really love that show! It's kinda like my love story when I was still in the philippines! It's great! And I looove the theme song! It's in my blog playlist.. go listen to it! here's the lyrics:

anata wa watashi no honno ichibu shika shiranai
kachihokoru you ni warawaretemo sore hodo iya jyanai yo

umaretekuru mae kiita you na sono fukai koe
sore dake de jinsei no okazu ni nareru kurai desu

subete shiru no wa toutei muri na no ni bokura wa doushite
akuma de nandemo seifuku shitagaru kanpeki wo oimotome (oh,chimanako de)
aishinukeru pointo ga hitotsu arya ii no ni

moshi sore ga kimi no honno ichibu da toshite mo
nani yori mo kakujitsu ni hakkiri suki na tokoro nanda (nani ga nandemo)

komatta toki sukoshi mayuge wo magete misetari
dakiyoseru to hotto suru you na yawarakasa dattari

subete tsukanda tsumori ni nareba mata kizu tsuku darou
hontou ni iru no wa umu wo iwasenai attoutekina tezawari (oh,you’re the one)
aishinukeru pointo ga hitotsu arya ii no ni (uh!)

kimi ni shika wakaranai koto (i cant tell)
boku dake ga mieteiru koto (never known)
dore mo honto no koto

subete nani ka no ichibu tte koto ni bokura wa ki zukanai
itoshii wake wo mitsuketa no nara mou ushiwanai de(oh, you’re the one)
aishinukeru pointo ga hitotsu arya ii no ni
sore dake de ii no ni